Don’t Even Think About Starting University In A Relationship

In September, a multitude of dedicated students will begin their university journey in a new location and unfortunately waste the best years of their lives with an undesirable partner from their former school. While it may work for a select few, it is usually comparable to continually consuming a salad without dressing or choosing to attend a local grammar school instead of the esteemed Hogwarts. Do not even consider entering a relationship with a high school sweetheart while attending university. If you are still contemplating this decision, please continue reading.

As former students, we adopt a tone of expertise. We were not the type to enjoy student life but were the kind who frequently traveled back to our hometowns on weekends to visit boyfriends who are now a distant memory. With hindsight, our past partners were nothing compared to the attractive, intelligent freshers in our halls.

We encountered many students who arrived in freshers’ week bragging about their significant other from back home. Nearly all of them split up by Christmas, right after the gift exchange.

Undoubtedly, the first year of university is daunting, and it may appear easier to cling onto a familiar romance from high school. However, you will undoubtedly encounter people in university who share more in common with you because you have chosen to study the same subject and are reacting similarly to the Thomas Hardy module or enjoy similar activities- nights out, dinners, and table tennis.

It is unfortunate to miss out on such romantic scenarios. Instead of knocking on each other’s doors before dinner or staring at each other in class, you will be phoning each other and engaging in forced conversation. You may leave nights early because they are visiting tomorrow. They are probably feeling the same.

Rose McGreggor, who studied at the University of Oxford while her boyfriend was at Durham, shares that they grew apart eventually and broke up while she was in her final year. She could only see him every other weekend, and the relationship was reduced to a series of phone calls. When they did see each other, it was awkward because they lived separate lives. McGreggor explains that she would want to go out whenever he came to visit, which was a poor sign.

Similarly, Emma Johns, who completed her undergraduate degree at the London College of Fashion while staying with her boyfriend from Aylesbury, shares that her experience was tragic. They broke up the second the course was finished. Johns believes they may have broken up sooner if she had attended a campus university with more of a community. Being in London meant it was easy for him to visit and for her to go home. Looking back, she regrets not experiencing university life to the fullest.

Maintaining two things, including a relationship, was difficult for Johns; she believes that if you have a significant other, you are not as likely to meet new people. Actress and filmmaker Greta Gerwig encourages first-year students in her new film, Mistress America, with the advice, “Where is this old-person morality coming from? There’s no cheating when you’re 18 — you should all be touching each other all the time.”

Very few high school relationships make it through university. The “no, you shouldn’t break up” opinion stems from the one couple that successively makes it through. Of course, there are old romantics who claim you should do whatever it takes to be with the one you love, and they are not wrong 1% of the time.

For instance, one guy at our university Skyped his girlfriend in Australia every day at 6 am for three years and now lives with her. Toby Marsh, who met his wife at 16 in London, says they stayed together “through uni, through travel, career changes, births, deaths and marriage. We grew up together. It’s easy to say relationships don’t survive through university, but, as with many things, you need to work at them and respect them. We are very lucky.”

As someone who has experienced the pain of a breakup before heading off to university, my advice would be to disregard the opinions and predictions of others. While it may be tough to navigate the initial months after ending a relationship, it pales in comparison to the prospect of two years of isolation and remorseful thoughts.

Certainly, following your heart over the advice of a stranger is usually the right path to take. Yet if there is any uncertainty, it is likely that the majority of people are in the same boat, perhaps even missing out on the opportunity to find their true soulmate due to being preoccupied with a former partner. The perfect person for you may be right in front of you, longing for your affection, while you continue to send messages to your high school sweetheart out of habit.

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